Category Archives: about me

live

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You know it’s funny how life just seems to take over, the diet becomes secondary to everything else. These days are the best when food is about fuel and life is about living. There are no urges to munch on all the bad stuff in the fridge. You just seem to float.

This week has been filled with those days. I have eaten well, perfectly actually, I haven’t craved junk or felt dishearten.

I’ve just lived.

I must be honest, I haven’t been to gym yet this week but this isn’t due to any fault of my own.  Life just got in the way. But you know what it’s ok. 3 days of gym isn’t going to make a huge difference I’m just going to go the rest of the week and the weekend. But you know what I love going to gym on Saturdays, the gym is always so quiet and I can take my time.

As to my weight, I really don’t know if I’m up or down. I’ve got a feeling I’m down, but I’m not sure if I’m down as much as I would like. Hmmmm… I have decided to wait till Friday to weigh myself. Because Friday… I’m going to see Steve!!! Now going to see Steve means it’s time for me to show my results. He will adapt my diet accordingly and measure my body fat %. He can then also work out if I’ve gained muscle and lost fat or lost fat or lost fat and muscle.

I really am hoping to be 4kgs down (in fat) from when I last saw him (4 weeks ago) .  I won’t really know until I go see him because my lean muscle mass could be up which means the number on the scale is wrong.

Another thing is, I feel I need to speak to him about is setting some proper goals for me.  I need to get some advice on my target weight and my target body bat percentage. I am thinking that when I get to my target weight I should get some personal training sessions to help me tone up and get ready for summer (:

Heres to a perfect Thursday and Friday and a fantastic rest of week (:

Prettiness

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The most amazing thing has started happening. I’ve started to feel pretty again. It started a few weeks ago when I noticed that I have cheek bones again. YES it’s amazing.  I have a nice shape to my face; my eyes look big and round. I truly feel good to be myself again.

It really is sad how your weight really does determine how you feel about yourself ( well at least for me it does ) when you have put on weight let’s be honest everyone notices, even if they say that you look amazing, chances are if you have put on more than 10 kgs they are lying.

For me as the weight went on I started to feel more shit about myself, I didn’t wear makeup or make an effort with my appearance. This in fact made it worst.  I was moody and ugly inside and out.

But it’s changed; slowly I have gotten back to my old self.  Today I’m wearing high heels to work, I’m wearing makeup. I’m wearing a dress that didn’t fit me 3 months ago. I’m truly proud of myself and I hope the people around me see the changes and love the Dom that has immerged.

Surving the festive Season..

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Well hello there everyone, it has been a while since my last confession. In fact it has been 2 weeks!! Oops, but hey who can blame me, IVE BEEN ON “HOLIDAY” well to start off this festive season has been the best yet. I ate as much as I wanted on Christmas and Boxing Day. I ate and drank until I couldn’t anymore on New Year’s.  It was brilliant.

I told myself that I could eat as much as I wanted on this days as long as I stuck to my diet the rest of the time. To be honest I wasn’t perfect. I still indulged in a few cheeky meals in-between. It’s hard not to when family come to visit or take you to a sushi restaurant.

I am pleased to announce that somehow, even though I wasn’t perfect I’ve still managed to drop a 1 KG this festive session. YAY for Dom (: (: (: (:

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS: 6.4 kgs

I must admit that I do have a secret weapon, I waitressed quiet abit over the last 2 weeks. Would means I was burning off quiet abit of calories. So I guess that made up for any over eating.

Since it is a new Years (which means some new year’s Resolutions)

So here are mine:

  1. Book flights to go backpacking in Thailand.
  2. Pass all 9 of my Varsity subjects
  3. Get down to my goal weight by David’s birthday (22nd July) and there after increase my lean muscle mass till I’m happy. Then focus on maintenance
  4. Keep on seeing Steve
  5. See my Best friend Monique – even though she is in New Zealand, where there is a will there is a way.
  6. Decided what I want to do with my life.
  7. Increase my dress collection from 37 – 50 dress (basically buy myself a new dress once a month.
  8. STOP BITING NAILS
  9. Turn my flat from a mess into a home.
  10. Spend more time outside.
  11. Give up on the binge.
  12. Live a little more while spending a lot less
  13. Make more time for family.
  14. Tell my mom I love her everyday

So next year when its 2013, I’m going to look back on this and be like wow! I did all that!!!

I’m hoping Anyway (:

The Hunger

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So with the diet I am on I have 6 meals a day, you would think that that would be more than enough right? Well it really isn’t, I have n=been fine with my diet up to now, iv done really well. Suddenly in the last two days I’ve been suffering from extreme hunger pains.  Steve always said that hunger is a good sign. It means that your metabolism is alive and working which is a good thing. It means that you are losing weight.

But the problem is I’ve not only had hunger pains, but I tired and grumpy. It really isn’t fun at all. But its only for a few more days and then I’m seeing Steve again and he will adjust my diet for me. I get to eat abut more YAY. I’m really excited to go see him on Friday. I know that the scale has only gone down 1 kg but my body has changed so much in the past 2 weeks. I’m so interested to see if my body fat percentage has gone down.

Friday will be the last day that I see Steve for almost a month!! That is a pretty scary fact. I really have been doing extremely well on his diet and I’m so scared without his guidance I will lose motivation and fall into temptation.

You know what this time I’m not going to let it happen.  I’m better than that. I suppose this time will definitely be different because I have David (the boyfriend) along with me for the journey. He went to go see Steve last week and he too is on a diet. Difference being that he wants to gain 10KG of muscle. But still his diet comprises of exactly the same foods as mine just in much bigger quantities.

I’m also on leave from work from Tuesday next week which means I’m going to get to go to gym with David everyday! YAY… He gives me such motivation to do better and be better.

There is to another day, I really hope it’s better than yesterday (:

Seeing help

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So. I’ve been abit distant of late, you see sometimes life happens and for me when life happens I tend to focus on life if that makes sense. So blogging hasn’t been on my top to do list. I’ve just been focusing on get through the days. The last week I have been on a will-wind of emotions. I’m been super sad, super happy, super angry and super scared.

Yes Scared.

You see the problem with me is I’m so terrified of letting the people I love down, I’m so scared I won’t turn out to be as successful or as brilliant as the people around me. I’m so terrified it’s terrible; it makes me feel like I can’t breathe.

But today I decided.. NO MORE, I’m going to be happy today; I’m going to be extremely good on my diet (except for the whiskey I will be drinking tonight).

On a good note I’m another 0.5kgs down bring my total down to 5.5 kgs lost (or somewhere around there) so I am making progress even if it is abit on the slow side. Which I am happy about!!

I have also decided it’s time to go back to see Steve (the sports nutritionist) I have decided this because I was always pretty scared of him and he makes me lose weight.  I always hated letting him down.

Its so funny how my feel of failure is the only way I can really focus on losing weight. I am sooo scared to go and see him as I was like 4 kgs lighter then what I am now last time I went to see him.

He is going to kill me, so I made the appointment for next Friday (gives me a week to work extra hard)

I am hoping that this time once I get to where I want to be I can stay there. I just need his help to get there first

Life really is too short to be hungry all the time

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So I’ve been abit absent of late, I’ve been going through that patch where you really don’t give a shit about anything. Been feeling like all I want is to be normal and have fun and not worry about anything.

And you know what I’ve really had fun; I’ve been eating pizza, drinking beer and doing some serious drunken munching (the best kind). Basically I’ve been having far too much fun for my own good.  It’s been almost two weeks that I really have not taken this whole diet seriously.

But hey, that’s life right, I’m not going to feel bad about it or worry about it continually it has happened and the only way to move is forward. Its only 38days till Christmas and I really want to look extra amazing for Christmas. I mean it’s the time of year when all the family get together and I want to look just as good as before. I mean I’m feeling pretty fantastic about myself at the moment.

I’m not obsessed with this whole diet business. I do still want the changes I set out to achieve but I am not willing to change my lifestyle to get there.

Life really is too short to be hungry all the time.

So yesterday I decided to stick to my plan, a new diet with no preservatives. Yesterday was a bit of a challenge. All I wanted to drink was coke zero. Especially in the evening while I was watching TV. It was actually pretty much torture (I’m not being dramatic). It’s pretty scary actually; No matter how much water I drank I still craved coke zero. Makes me think what’s actually in that stuff that makes me want to drink it.

Yikes.

I’m still going to try finding some alternatives to coke zero, think some homemade ice teas would be a good idea..

But yes yesterday was the start of a whole new adventure. So to make the beginning of something new I decided to jump on the scale. I did it this morning in fact. Ok so I’m 1.5 kgs up, But really…. considering all the shit I’m been putting in my face that really isn’t bad.

I don’t even feel guilty about it. I’m seeing it as the past and I’ve got a whole future to get to where I want to be.

Last Christmas… i will get there again soon (:

Doctor Shocker –

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So yesterday (as I still wasn’t feeling better) I decided to go to the doctor, so my normally doctor wasn’t answering his phone, apparently he is closed on a Thursday afternoon… why would you close of a Thursday afternoon?? Makes no sense to me… a Thursday… why not a Friday???

But oh well, so I called another doctor and to my surprise oh what a nice guy, he managed to see me straight away, AWESOMENESS… so I left work in a hurry and headed over to his office. I must say this doctor is amazing; he did all these weird tests on me. He was super friendly and he gave me free medicine!!! YES it is only adco-dol but seriously this is Africa and we never get anything for free here.

He did scare me a little though because he had one of those mole testing machines, seriously what GP has those?? Well…. my new doctor does. He checked some of my moles and apparently I have a few worrying moles. The scary thing is that sun block doesn’t protect moles for the sun.  According to doctor peter if you expose a mole for more than 11mins to the sun, you will experience growth.

So basically he said I must always seek the shade, stay under cover, and no sun tanning… BUT WAIT!! My other doctor said I must spend at least half an hour in the sun as I’m vitamin D deficient.

This is all so confusing.

So now I have to go back to the doctor for mole mapping, which basically means he is going to little photos of all my moles and see if any of them are dangerous… Like melanomas (skin cancer). So that’s something I need to do next week I’m sure. Fun fun fun.

So what dr peter said about my headaches apparent from numerous questions about the fact of possible pregnancy (I’m definitely not pregnant). Is that I have a low level viral infection. Basically I have a virus. So I have to be extra careful and look after myself, no drinking or going out just a good few days of rest and SOUP! YUM YUM YUM.. I’m totally making soup tonight (I’m lying to myself here).

I’m so excited to have a good night of sleep.

YAY YAY YAY (can’t wait)

Please go away..

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You know, all I want is to wake up with a smile on my face, wake up and be like hello world oh what a fine day you are today….. But for whatever I am being plagued with migraines at the moment, not those light silly headaches but those full OH MY GOD headaches.

I hate my life today I really really do.

This headache I am suffering from is so bad that as I type every click click chick of my keyboard is echoing in my head… cause serious irritation and pain. So I’m not happy, I’m not in a good mood and I really don’t want to be at work today.

I WANT TO GO AND SLEEP and eat soup. YES nice chicken and veggie soup would be soooo good right now… But the last thing I feel like doing is chopping veggies. AAAGH and the CHOP CHOP sound would be pure hell. Hmmm I could buy a ready chopped soup mix but even that seems like a mission.

You know I hate feeling like this, just make me angry and unhappy… where is the happiness?? Where is the love?

Feel like crying and curling into a ball and sleeping… all I want is sleep.

And chicken soup…

please please please….

someone make me soup?

 

Not feeling myself

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So know that yesterday I was meant to have my weigh day and go to gym and everything. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get out of bed; you see I’ve been feeling so weird for the past few days, really not like myself at all. Not the happy Dom I thought I was becoming.

I woke up yesterday feeling nauseas, tired and headachy. So I just didn’t get out of bed, I stayed there till 4.00pm to be exact, I did get up to go have a bit to eat on the odd occasion. I didn’t leave the flat the whole day. The scary thing is I didn’t want to leave the flat at all, I felt like I wanted to stay there for the rest of my life, like I didn’t have the energy to face the world.

Truly horrible feeling and because I felt soo bad I didn’t care what I ate, didn’t care what I weighed. I didn’t really care about anything. I suppose I didn’t keep much of what I ate down anyway so it wasn’t all bad. Aaagh… SIS

So weigh-Day has been post-poned till Friday morning. I have decided that it’s time to get my own scale and to take charge of myself. I’m not going to let myself go again. I need to start fighting for myself. I need Fighting for my own happiness and my own dreams,its just so hard sometimes.

I need to stop letting myself get so down and so depressed all the time.

I need to stop feeling so lonely all the time.

I need to stop crying all the time.

I need to stop missing David so much; he is working towards our future.

I need to start living!!!